Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2014 15:24:11 GMT -5
Madness Hatness was still having trouble remembering what had happened during the thirteen years since his mom held him up against the tree with a knife. {Oh yeah, did his mother hold him up against a tree with a knife?}(Yeah, did that happen? Did his mother hold him up against a tree with a knife to get money back and afterwards called it her baby? Is that what happened?) Ouch. Guys it’s still a sensitive subject for me. You’ve never experienced something as painful as that. (I have. I was with you for it.){I was created because of it.}
ANYWAY.
He couldn’t remember what had happened. (Aside from fighting those pigs a little while ago. That was something){Yeah, that was some pretty awesome stuff. Wee wee wee, all the way home. That was brilliant}I know.
You know what? You guys are talking too much. I’m activating Shakespeare mode.
{Not Shakespeare mode!}
(What is Shakespeare mode?!?)
SHAKESPEARE MODE ACTIVATE! Iambic PENTAMETER POWERS!
Act I scene I
In fair Central City where we lay our scene,
A Hatted man can easily be found
Wandering around with no memory.
Aside from when he was held up to a tree
(Yes we are all aware about the tree)
{The tree is a thing we well know by now}
{So we’re really doing this iambic thing?}
(Thou seemst to be doing it right now, sir)
{Oh? We’re doing ye olde language thing?}
Of course we are its all part of the mode.
The Hatted man wande-red through the town.
Looking for something to do or see now.
He really had no leads on where to go.
His mind was blank, I’ll have you well kn-ow.
He had just vanqui-shed some piggish men.
And now he ran around like a wh-en.
{What the heck is a when? Where did that come from?}
If Shakespeare can make up words I can too.
(I don’t think you are allowed to d-o)
{So we are doing rhyming couplets now?}
(Your mother hath the weight of ten fat cow.}
SHAKESPEARE MODE OFF.
That was very difficult, but I’m glad I made an attempt. Eventually I will probably do an entire post like that. {Post?}(Shh…he’s being meta again)
The Hatter, as you could tell was extremely bored. He had been wandering around the city for days now with nobody paying any attention to him, save a few measly pigs that put up quite the hell of a fight. He found himself in another back alley, probably the mistake of taking a wrong turn. {Yeah, “mistake”, we all know this is just so he can find another random person to fight so he can get more power level.}(Wow…really just…not caring about that fourth wall, are you?){F*CK THE FOURTH WALL}
At the end of the alley was a shadowy figure. The shadowy figure was very tall, and strange looking. It seemed to not have a human-esque shape but seemed more avian in nature. {Oh god. You’ve been watching too much family guy.}
The figure stepped out into the light and…(Yeah….It’s a giant chicken.)
Hey, is there some sort of mutant farm around here? I just had to beat up a random group of motorcycling pig men. They attacked me first, so it wasn’t like I just decided to hurt them, but I still had to send them wee wee weeing all the way home.
The chicken figure stopped, and took a moment.
Wait. It was a hog…riding a hog?
Oh my god! I made the same joke!
The chicken laughed, and then took a fighting stance.
Aww…we don’t really have to do this, do we?
The chicken pulled back its fist.
Before we fight, can I ask you one question?
The chicken sighed, and then put its fist down.
Yes.
Thank you.
The two resumed fighting stances, and the chicken threw a punch. Hatter dodged out of the way, and threw a punch of his own. The chicken blocked it with his feathered forearm, and threw a kick. {Of course, this is probably the same giant chicken that fights with Peter all the time, isn’t it?}(You can’t prove that. You can’t prove anything)
Hatter took the kick in the chest and flew back into the brick wall of the alley, his head bouncing off the side but the blow was mostly absorbed by the hat on his head. Hatter kicked off the wall and landed a super punch on the chicken, knocking the chicken back into a fire-escape ladder. The ladder fell down, momentarily trapping the chicken underneath it. Hatter ran over and kicked the chicken in the face. The chicken pushed the ladder up and rolled away, charging up a ki beam. Hatness quickly climbed the ladder and got onto the roof. The chicken flew up to meet him.
Chickens can fly?!
For short distances we can.
The chicken launched the ki beam at Hatness, and Hatness flew off the roof. {Did we forget to mention that it’s a twelve story building? I think we forgot to mention that.} Hatness flew off the room and careened down the side of the building.
Well. This is it. He thought. I’m going to die like this. Fighting a giant chicken.
(FLY YOU FOOL)
AH! Lord of the Rings quote. I like it!
(No you idiot, in those thirteen blank years you learned how to fly. So use it!)
Oh.
Hatness kicked in his bukujutsu, and flew back up to the top of the roof, where the chicken was having a victory peck at some grain he found. {Why is there grain on the roof?}(He probably put it there himself.)
The chicken took a step back in surprise. He hadn’t expected Hatness to survive the fall.
How did you survive the fall?
You want to know how I survived the fall?
Yeah, I want to know how you survived the fall.
I survived the fall by flying. You know, something chickens cant do.
He flew at the chicken and caught him in the gut with a tackle. They flew off the roof of the building and landed smack on a bus down below. The chicken landed first and was seriously hurt. Hatter slowed some of his own momentum with his flying ability. They fought on top of the bus for a while as it spun in and out of traffic. The chicken threw lefts and rights as Hatter ducked each and every one of them, when the chicken would throw kicks, and Hatter would block them. The chicken was doing everything it could to fight Hatness, but Hatness was giving it right back. They were at a stale mate. And then the bus crashed into a pet store.
The pets came running out of the store, and the Chicken picked up a piece of glass from the display window that the bus had smashed. He slashed at Hatness, but Hatness kicked it out of his hand. They heard a noise, and then turned to look at the pet store. From the smoke in the pet store emerged three different figures. All anthropomorphic animals. A dog, a cat and a parrot.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
The animals all surrounded Hatness.
Why is every animal on this planet anthropomorphic? And why are they all after me!?
The animals answered with their fists. They dog threw a punch, the cat shot out its claws, the parrot tried to cut the air with its wings. Hatter dodged the punch, but took the claw in arm. The wing didn’t really do anything, because…come on…it’s a wing.
Hatness shouted HADOUKEN and launched the blast at the dog, hitting it square in the chest and sending it flying. It landed in a slump on the wall, and did not get up. The cat, enraged that the dog was defeated, clicked its claws out another level. They were longer, and sharper, or at least that’s how it seemed. {Like Meg’s power from Family Guy!}
The Cat took over the fighting, slashing at Hatness and trying to cut him. Hatness had no defense against it other than to dodge. He threw out a leg, and the cat caught it, and scratched his claws along the length of Hatness’s leg. Hatness screamed out in pain, and the first break took over.
(Yay! It’s me time!)
(I threw a fist out and caught the Parrot in the beak, knocking it unconscious. One less problem to deal with. The cat took a step back in fear, seeing the crazed look in my eyes. I didn’t let it get far however. I tried to shoot an energy beam at it, and realized that the trickle of energy that was coming out was not going to do much to hurt the cat. The cat took this as a sign of weakness and took a step closer. Unfortunately for it, this was when the power-surge took over and shot out of my hand. The cat took the beam to the face, and flew back into the dog, re-knocking it out.
Only the chicken was left. That bastard.
He flew at me, all of his minions knocked out. He threw a punch and it caught me in the face, sending me backwards. We had fought all over town and ended up with a bunch of unconscious jerk animals in a heap. All that was left was to deliver a finishing blow to the chicken.
He tried to tackle me, and I moved out of the way, delivering a sick german suplex to the chicken. He struggled to get up, and I put my foot on his chest.
(Bah ba ba ooh ma mow mow ba ba ooh mow mow.)
Wh-what?
(You don’t know?)
What are you talking about?
(You haven’t heard?)
Heard what?!?
(The bird is a TURD)
I delivered one final punch to the chicken, knocking it out cold. I really had to find some civilized people.)
ANYWAY.
He couldn’t remember what had happened. (Aside from fighting those pigs a little while ago. That was something){Yeah, that was some pretty awesome stuff. Wee wee wee, all the way home. That was brilliant}I know.
You know what? You guys are talking too much. I’m activating Shakespeare mode.
{Not Shakespeare mode!}
(What is Shakespeare mode?!?)
SHAKESPEARE MODE ACTIVATE! Iambic PENTAMETER POWERS!
Act I scene I
In fair Central City where we lay our scene,
A Hatted man can easily be found
Wandering around with no memory.
Aside from when he was held up to a tree
(Yes we are all aware about the tree)
{The tree is a thing we well know by now}
{So we’re really doing this iambic thing?}
(Thou seemst to be doing it right now, sir)
{Oh? We’re doing ye olde language thing?}
Of course we are its all part of the mode.
The Hatted man wande-red through the town.
Looking for something to do or see now.
He really had no leads on where to go.
His mind was blank, I’ll have you well kn-ow.
He had just vanqui-shed some piggish men.
And now he ran around like a wh-en.
{What the heck is a when? Where did that come from?}
If Shakespeare can make up words I can too.
(I don’t think you are allowed to d-o)
{So we are doing rhyming couplets now?}
(Your mother hath the weight of ten fat cow.}
SHAKESPEARE MODE OFF.
That was very difficult, but I’m glad I made an attempt. Eventually I will probably do an entire post like that. {Post?}(Shh…he’s being meta again)
The Hatter, as you could tell was extremely bored. He had been wandering around the city for days now with nobody paying any attention to him, save a few measly pigs that put up quite the hell of a fight. He found himself in another back alley, probably the mistake of taking a wrong turn. {Yeah, “mistake”, we all know this is just so he can find another random person to fight so he can get more power level.}(Wow…really just…not caring about that fourth wall, are you?){F*CK THE FOURTH WALL}
At the end of the alley was a shadowy figure. The shadowy figure was very tall, and strange looking. It seemed to not have a human-esque shape but seemed more avian in nature. {Oh god. You’ve been watching too much family guy.}
The figure stepped out into the light and…(Yeah….It’s a giant chicken.)
Hey, is there some sort of mutant farm around here? I just had to beat up a random group of motorcycling pig men. They attacked me first, so it wasn’t like I just decided to hurt them, but I still had to send them wee wee weeing all the way home.
The chicken figure stopped, and took a moment.
Wait. It was a hog…riding a hog?
Oh my god! I made the same joke!
The chicken laughed, and then took a fighting stance.
Aww…we don’t really have to do this, do we?
The chicken pulled back its fist.
Before we fight, can I ask you one question?
The chicken sighed, and then put its fist down.
Yes.
Thank you.
The two resumed fighting stances, and the chicken threw a punch. Hatter dodged out of the way, and threw a punch of his own. The chicken blocked it with his feathered forearm, and threw a kick. {Of course, this is probably the same giant chicken that fights with Peter all the time, isn’t it?}(You can’t prove that. You can’t prove anything)
Hatter took the kick in the chest and flew back into the brick wall of the alley, his head bouncing off the side but the blow was mostly absorbed by the hat on his head. Hatter kicked off the wall and landed a super punch on the chicken, knocking the chicken back into a fire-escape ladder. The ladder fell down, momentarily trapping the chicken underneath it. Hatter ran over and kicked the chicken in the face. The chicken pushed the ladder up and rolled away, charging up a ki beam. Hatness quickly climbed the ladder and got onto the roof. The chicken flew up to meet him.
Chickens can fly?!
For short distances we can.
The chicken launched the ki beam at Hatness, and Hatness flew off the roof. {Did we forget to mention that it’s a twelve story building? I think we forgot to mention that.} Hatness flew off the room and careened down the side of the building.
Well. This is it. He thought. I’m going to die like this. Fighting a giant chicken.
(FLY YOU FOOL)
AH! Lord of the Rings quote. I like it!
(No you idiot, in those thirteen blank years you learned how to fly. So use it!)
Oh.
Hatness kicked in his bukujutsu, and flew back up to the top of the roof, where the chicken was having a victory peck at some grain he found. {Why is there grain on the roof?}(He probably put it there himself.)
The chicken took a step back in surprise. He hadn’t expected Hatness to survive the fall.
How did you survive the fall?
You want to know how I survived the fall?
Yeah, I want to know how you survived the fall.
I survived the fall by flying. You know, something chickens cant do.
He flew at the chicken and caught him in the gut with a tackle. They flew off the roof of the building and landed smack on a bus down below. The chicken landed first and was seriously hurt. Hatter slowed some of his own momentum with his flying ability. They fought on top of the bus for a while as it spun in and out of traffic. The chicken threw lefts and rights as Hatter ducked each and every one of them, when the chicken would throw kicks, and Hatter would block them. The chicken was doing everything it could to fight Hatness, but Hatness was giving it right back. They were at a stale mate. And then the bus crashed into a pet store.
The pets came running out of the store, and the Chicken picked up a piece of glass from the display window that the bus had smashed. He slashed at Hatness, but Hatness kicked it out of his hand. They heard a noise, and then turned to look at the pet store. From the smoke in the pet store emerged three different figures. All anthropomorphic animals. A dog, a cat and a parrot.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
The animals all surrounded Hatness.
Why is every animal on this planet anthropomorphic? And why are they all after me!?
The animals answered with their fists. They dog threw a punch, the cat shot out its claws, the parrot tried to cut the air with its wings. Hatter dodged the punch, but took the claw in arm. The wing didn’t really do anything, because…come on…it’s a wing.
Hatness shouted HADOUKEN and launched the blast at the dog, hitting it square in the chest and sending it flying. It landed in a slump on the wall, and did not get up. The cat, enraged that the dog was defeated, clicked its claws out another level. They were longer, and sharper, or at least that’s how it seemed. {Like Meg’s power from Family Guy!}
The Cat took over the fighting, slashing at Hatness and trying to cut him. Hatness had no defense against it other than to dodge. He threw out a leg, and the cat caught it, and scratched his claws along the length of Hatness’s leg. Hatness screamed out in pain, and the first break took over.
(Yay! It’s me time!)
(I threw a fist out and caught the Parrot in the beak, knocking it unconscious. One less problem to deal with. The cat took a step back in fear, seeing the crazed look in my eyes. I didn’t let it get far however. I tried to shoot an energy beam at it, and realized that the trickle of energy that was coming out was not going to do much to hurt the cat. The cat took this as a sign of weakness and took a step closer. Unfortunately for it, this was when the power-surge took over and shot out of my hand. The cat took the beam to the face, and flew back into the dog, re-knocking it out.
Only the chicken was left. That bastard.
He flew at me, all of his minions knocked out. He threw a punch and it caught me in the face, sending me backwards. We had fought all over town and ended up with a bunch of unconscious jerk animals in a heap. All that was left was to deliver a finishing blow to the chicken.
He tried to tackle me, and I moved out of the way, delivering a sick german suplex to the chicken. He struggled to get up, and I put my foot on his chest.
(Bah ba ba ooh ma mow mow ba ba ooh mow mow.)
Wh-what?
(You don’t know?)
What are you talking about?
(You haven’t heard?)
Heard what?!?
(The bird is a TURD)
I delivered one final punch to the chicken, knocking it out cold. I really had to find some civilized people.)